ASPEN STODDARD
Doppelgänger
She painted me
Red hair, black cloak
In the inky shadows of
An unnamed street
Paralyzed in motion my lips closed
No teeth
No voice box to speak
She painted me
Left foot forward
Stubs of arms shoved into
Skinny pockets of my coat
She must hate hands
And feet
Jammed into pointy shoes that don’t fit me
My proportions are skewed
I envision her bloodshot eyes
Squint in concentration
As she defined the boundaries of my world
Narrow buildings with
Vacant windows that rise in surreal shapes
Behind me
I try to see
But my expression is frozen in a way that hinders me
Doesn’t she love me?
Why doesn’t she brighten up the sky?
Give me the sun, the moon, or at least a starlit night
But she only paints one streetlight for me
To see by
I remember when she gave me eyes
Before then I was just a body on canvas with a
Colorless mind
Does she know that while I watched her sleep
At 2am
My heart began to beat?
Please help me
Sometimes before she leaves
She stares at me
Picks up her paintbrush
And streams run down her cheeks
Her strokes are angry
Sometimes she talks to herself
Or me
I can’t tell
She calls me ugly
My legs too short
My skin too orange
She says I look fake
I think she thinks I’m fake
She even calls me a waste
Of time
But she created me
Last night her hand slipped and she painted over
Part of me
Now I fear she may be planning to erase
Me
Does she not know that I am her and
she is me?
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